"The Ivory Graveyard"

Epic #7, September 1985 ($0.75)
"If your taxes are outrageous,
Send for Groo.
If some plague is most contagious,
Send for Groo.
If a slow death is your worry,
And you'd like your end to hurry,
Then there's just one thing to do-
Send for Groo.
If an enemy's invading,
Send for Groo.
If your chance to live is fading,
Send for Groo.
If you're in a bad condition,
Have him join your opposition.
He will slay them all for you-
Send for Groo."

"No one profits at the death of another
(except for the mortician.)"

Story Summary: [Still to come]

Mark Evanier: Transliterator, (Utterer)

Short Story: The Sage

Hidden Message: Click here to spoil the fun.

Reprinted in: The Groo Bazaar (Marvel/Epic)

Known Characters Appearing: Groo.

Quotes from The Sage:
    "The sound of children playing is music to those filled with hope!"
    "He who is always prepared is never without the answer to any question..."
    "A positive thought and a bit of sugar is the best medicine to the young in mind..."
    "Fight not a free gift!"
    "Humility is the grandest achievement of them all!"
    "A doctor does not smile when all is well!"
    "Genius functions as an individual effort!"
    "The wise man always does his best..."
    "Panic is our enemy! A level head shall find the way!"
    "The secret of survival is fast thinking!"

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